Waiting for the Whistle

Two that remain...

Two that remain…

Sometimes he snores.

He was incredibly hard to housebreak.

During the two years he’s been with us, he has chewed up almost an entire herd of My Little Pony Figurines.

He is known for getting loose.  When he does, he’s  gone for a couple of hours, trailing after some delicious scent and chasing every creature that crosses his path.  He does this because it is what he was born to do.  He is a hunting dog, a Redbone Hound, and we love him.

His name is Copper, but our little girls have given him more nick names than any other pet we’ve ever owned.  Copper-Doodle-Do, Crinkleton Wrinklesworth, The Chewinator, Donut Boy, (not because he eats them, but because he curls up perfectly round and his fur has the sheen of a glazed donut), to name a few.  He has learned to answer to most of the nick names, except when he’s gotten away.  Then, the only voice he listens to is the inner one which tells him to run free.

He came to us, or rather, we came to him, in January, 2014.

Temperatures were consistently below freezing that year. We had snow on the ground, and more was coming.  I called my friend.

“If we can get to your place tomorrow, how about we let the kids go sledding and I’ll bring over a crock pot of soup?”

“Sounds good,” she said.  “Sorry I missed your call the first time.  I was outside trying to get a stray into the dog pen for shelter.  He is really thin.”

In January, stray hunting dogs are very common in this part of the country.  Either lost or released on purpose, they wander around, trying to survive.

He was still there when we came over the next day.  I have seen many strays before, but none as pitiful.  He was so emaciated you could see every vertebrae in his spine. The condition of his coat was distressing.

Both of his sides were covered with a thick black substance that appeared to be paint or dye.  It had obviously irritated his skin, because patches of fur had fallen out and the exposed skin was red and raw.

We later learned that  some hunters use hair dye to mark the sides of their dogs with an identifying letter and/or number.  Apparently, this dog’s owner did not want him to be returned, so hair dye was used to cover up his identification.

After the kids were finished sledding, we settled down inside for laughter and hot soup. When the dishes were cleared away, we gathered in the living room.  Two windows faced the front porch.   By the light near the front door, I could see the dog through the window.  Apparently, he could see me, too.  When I moved to the other window, so did he.  His eyes, big and brown in his thin face, locked onto mine.  There was something unmistakably sweet in those eyes.  In spite of his miserable condition, they were innocent, accepting: no bitterness toward the world, no anger at a master who did him wrong, no self-pity.

I couldn’t turn away.  My friend’s husband could see the writing on the wall even before I did.  “I’m sorry, Brian,” he said to my husband, who just smiled at him and shook his head.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said.  “We don’t need another dog.”

When it was time to go, the dog greeted us at the door.   The kids were full of questions, wanting to know what would happen to him. I was silent; torn between practicality  and what I really wanted to do.  We got in the truck and backed slowly down the long drive.  At the end, my husband looked at me.  I looked at him.

“It’s OK with me if you are like your daddy,” he said.  My daddy had a long history of rescuing strays, four legged and two legged.

That’s all it took.  I jumped out of the truck.  The dog was sitting at the other end of the drive, watching me.  I whistled.  He took off  as if that was what he’d been waiting for.  Whatever reserve of energy he had left, he used it, running to me.  Brian scooped him up and put him in the back. The little girls were beside themselves with joy.

We brought him home, dressed him in an old fleece pullover, gave him food and water, kept him in the shop until we could get him cleaned up and checked out by the vet.

On the threshold of a new story...

On the threshold of a new story…

Upon closer inspection, we saw multiple wounds on his paws and ears, marks of a tangle with other hunting dogs or coyotes.  Severely dehydrated and malnourished, he probably wouldn’t have lasted another night with temperatures in the single digits.   But, grace found him, mercy saved him, love looked beyond the ragged and worn exterior and saw value that the  world did not.

It took months to nurse him back to health.  The dyed fur eventually all fell out. New fur grew, except in one place on his side where the irritation  went beyond skin deep. The wounds on his ears healed, although jagged edges still remain, reminders of a story we will never know.

He is now fit and strong. His silky fur gleams like a new copper penny in the sun.  His character holds true to the story his eyes told me that night in January.  He is loving, easy-going and peaceful, grateful for his redemption.

Enjoying life

Enjoying life

There are people in our world who have been thrown out, mistreated and abandoned.  Sometimes, this shows on the outside.  Sometimes, it does not, because the wounds are on the inside.

Ask God to put someone in your path who needs a new story.  Maybe they need a listening ear, a kind word, a friend.  Maybe they have practical needs, that, once met, will lead to the fulfillment of spiritual needs.  Maybe they need a Redemption Story and a Soul Savior.

if you are a Believer, then Jesus lives in you.  He is real, not just a name printed on the thin pages of a book.  He is: your hands, your smile, your love, your compassion, your resources, your energy.

He provides. You deliver.

John 13:34

” A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, love one another.  By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE LAST GIFT

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The delight of mysteries unveiled, genuine surprises experienced and laughter shared lingered in the corners of the room and under the tree.  The tangible things that those gifts had sprung from were all claimed and unwrapped.

Yet, there WAS one last gift.  The corner of it peeked from beneath the tree skirt where I had hidden it earlier that morning.  Of all the gifts I carefully selected for my daughters, it was the one that gave me the most joy to think about.

It came in the form of a letter, read aloud amid the blessings of abundance and  comfort:

To my precious girls,

In a country far from where we live, in a house that is likely  much smaller than our living room, there is a family whose life is about to change in one very important way.

They are unknown to you; but I want you to imagine them and know that they are real.  They look different than you, though they are the same in many ways.  They laugh and cry and share family traditions, just as we do.  They are God’s created, crafted by Him and given life by Him just as you have been.

They don’t have a Christmas tree, presents to unwrap and a big dinner to look forward to. There are so many things you have and use every day that they do without, but in a way, you are going to give them life.

They live in a world where water doesn’t come by turning on a faucet.  The children of the family, usually girls, your age or younger, put a bucket on their heads and walk about three miles to a watering hole.  When the bucket is full, they put it back on their head and walk home. The heavy bucket is full of water which they must have in order to live, but it isn’t clean, clear water like you’re used to.  It is dirty, contaminated water that makes them sick and can kill them, even while it keeps them from dying of thirst.

When we went to the Bethlehem walk, we saw someone  who was demonstrating a special filter bucket that purifies dirty water.   It takes away the parasites and impurities and makes the water safe to drink.

Imagine what the children would do the first time they got water from a bucket like that and saw the dirty water inside come out pure, shining like liquid glass.  I think they’d clap their hands, laugh and dance from happiness because they’d see what seems like a miracle.  They’d taste the water and drink it and watch as light shines through it as it streams out of their filter bucket.  They would be amazed!

I could have bought you each one more Christmas gift, but instead, in your names, I bought a filter bucket that will be delivered to a family, far from here.  I did this because I want you to know that in a small way, you can be part of something bigger than you are.   I want you to be aware there  is a world  full of hurting people outside the safety of our home, and that there are many ways to help them.

What people everywhere need most is the Living Water that can only come to them by knowing Jesus as their Savior.  I am so thankful that both of you have the Living Water of Jesus.  I pray that you will learn to love Him so much that His love spills out of you into the lives of others who need Him.  I pray that you’ll use the gifts and talents you’ve been given to help others in His name and that you will never feel that your hands are too small to do good. 

I also hope you’ll always remember that Christmas, and life in general, is not about how much you get, but about how much you give.  God demonstrated that when He gave us the most precious gift of all, His Son, Jesus.

I love you both so very, very much and am proud of you because I  know that you will change your world for the good.  Always give God the credit for whatever you do, because He is the source and provider of all your many wonderful gifts and talents.

Merry Christmas, my beautiful girls.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Reader,

It is estimated that 27,000 children die each week because of diseases contracted from unsafe water and unhygienic living conditions.  We know how to say all the words in that sentence, but we can’t fully know  the  pain and suffering  those words represent.

How much suffering can you stop? How many children can you save?  

Click here for Compassion’s Water of Life website and read about how to give the water of life.   If you aren’t able to do this alone, inspire your group, class or organization to help!  Each filter bucket purchased is delivered to a family by a member of a local church.  This representative teaches the family the importance of clean water and how to maintain the bucket system, among other things.  This visit opens the door for a relationship  between the family and the Believer who delivers the bucket.  God can use that relationship to quench the thirst of their souls, by giving them  the eternal  gift of Living Water through Jesus Christ! Pray that this occurs!

John 4:13

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him  a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

This day, choose to make a difference.

THIS DAY

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Coffee cup in hand, I stared at the ornaments on my tree.  Memories clung to each one.  I had just finished reading my Bible and was contemplating the past.  My husband padded down the hall, got his coffee and joined me on the couch. Moments later, my youngest woke and crawled into my lap.  Even though she is tall for her age and has long legs, she still fits.  I hope she always does, but of course, I know she won’t.  I inhaled the fragrance of her hair and kissed her cheek, soft as velvet.  The sun had kissed it this summer and the freckles were still there.  Her eyes locked onto mine.  Green, gold, brown, you could never say for sure what color they were, because they were a beautiful mix of all three.

My little one stirred and hopped off to say good morning to the dogs.  Finally, the need to begin the day lifted its’ head.  I stepped into my room, planning to get ready for a run.  Little did I know that a jolt was about to enter my space and time.  It came in the form of a lump I discovered while changing my clothes: a lump in a place a woman never wants to feel a lump.  I called my husband and told him.  I saw the concern flash across his face and he took my hands.  “Let’s pray,” he said.

Solid.  Calm.  Loving.  How blessed I am to have him in my life.  But, even after the prayer, I felt fear rising up in my stomach like a wave.  Instead of allowing it to consume me, I beat it down, in my mind, with an iron mallet.  God is in control.  BAM! Everything that happens to me does so with His permission.  BAM! No matter what the outcome, He will be with me every step of the way.  BAM!  He loves me! BAM! BAM!  I called my doctor and was given an appointment for tomorrow.  Then, believe it or not, I set out to enjoy my day. I don’t always get it right when a jolt flashes into my life, but this time, I did.

I chose not to go for a run.  I poured a second cup of coffee and talked with my husband, without mentioning IT.  Instead of doing some pre-Christmas baking, I swung outside with the girls, not just for a few minutes, but a marathon of swinging.  I felt the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair and marveled at how incredible it was to have a spring like day in mid-December.  I didn’t sweep my floors that night and I ate chocolate at least twice.  I lived that day so it would not slip into oblivion and leave me with the shadow of regret.  The fragility of life became shockingly, beautifully apparent and I wanted nothing more than to hold the precious gift of each breath in both hands until it had to wisp away through my fingers.

This lesson wasn’t new to me.  A brush with melanoma and subsequent staph infection 8 years ago taught me not just that life was precious and without guarantee, but many other lessons as well.   It became obvious God knows even lessons well learned sometimes need to be re-taught so the learning doesn’t get stale or obscured by new storm debris.  God knew I needed a pointed review to break through layers I’d accumulated.

Regret had covered my heart for the last few days, weighing me down in layers of suffocating fabric.  My sister had recently written to me, saying she wasn’t going to be sad because mom was gone this Christmas, since she had many good memories of all the fun things they did over the holidays.  After my dad died, she and my mom had many adventures together.  She had lived close to mom, while I was the one who moved almost 700 miles away.

I felt genuinely happy for her, but miserable for me.  Immediate thoughts of too many Christmases that I didn’t make it home; work schedules, traveling long distances with small children, money; reasons that were real then but seemed like excuses now.  I missed my mom AND my dad, worse still, I missed the memories I didn’t make.  Regret became a downward spiral, whirling through my heart like an F5 tornado, catching other debris in its path and storming me in a way that eclipsed the good.

Regret cast shadows on the month of memories I have from when mom came to visit us after dad died. Of all the things we did, the best treasure is the memory of endless card games and hide and seek mom played with the girls.  Regret loomed over the fact that we had made the journey home within the last few years to celebrate Thanksgiving one year and Christmas the next.  Regret swept away the stacks of photos, letters, cards and children’s artwork I had sent, which my sister and I found when we went through mom’s things.

“It’s clear,” she observed, “you wanted them to be part of your life.”

I did, Oh, I did!  But I wanted more. Regret caught me in a vision path that focused backward.  Worse still, it impaired my sight so that I saw only what was missed instead of what was had.  I was exactly where satan wanted me to be, carried along by a voice that cried “Failure!”

I prayed God would silence that voice and lift me out of the swirl of thoughts and emotions that went along with it over the last few days.  He did, by giving me an object lesson in the form of one small, hard lump.   I’ve taught many times before that God is in the detail.  This day, He proved it once again.  He knew exactly what it would take to readjust my focus.

On the day of my appointment, I spent seven hours away from home and visited three different healthcare providers.  Throughout, God took what could have been a frightening and frustrating ordeal and made it a demonstration of His grace and mercy.  He put caring, sensitive professionals in my path, opened up appointments that shouldn’t have been available and most importantly, gave me His peace and the knowledge that He was in control.

Between appointments, I had lots of wait time.  With the normal daily to-do list ripped from my hands, I had a chance to reflect, now with re-adjusted sight.  I was able to recount the good, and, at the same time, dwell on how important it is to live in the moment. Because I don’t believe in coincidence, I knew that my Pastor’s recent sermon series, entitled “30 Days to Live,” was just another piece in the puzzle, adding to the sense of urgency to approach each day with an intent to live fully, cherishing those we love and making the most of what really matters.

At the end of the last appointment, I had an answer.  The lump was not a malignancy. The doctor clasped my hand and we smiled at each other in instant celebration.  Once in my car, even before I called my husband, I thanked the Lord for the lesson He’d applied to my life, the result, the compassionate people, and the fact that I had an answer so soon.   I knew that this could have drawn out for weeks.  Perhaps God allowed the result to come quickly, because for once in my hard-headed life I had been almost immediately trusting and teachable.

Will I be that way the next time a jolt hits me?  I can’t say for sure, but I pray so.  I want this behavior to be indelibly printed on every fiber of my existence, so that it becomes an automatic first response to whatever comes my way.

I also want to live with no regrets, ruthlessly editing the to-do list so that the people I love the most have the best of me.  I want to say “yes” to a life that leaves glowing footprints of times spent cherishing loved ones and doing things that have eternal consequences.

What can you do to make this lesson your own?  I challenge you to spend some time thinking about your life and those you love. Do the people who mean the most to you get your best, or only what is left at the end of the day?  Are your energies and talents spent on acts of service that impact God’s kingdom in a real way?

God’s heart pulses with longing for a relationship with us. His choice, favor and desire for peace between Himself and us was demonstrated by the birth of His ever-sinless Son, Jesus, who came to die so that we could have a relationship with His Father and call Him “Abba,” a term of endearment Hebrew children use for their daddies.

Only God’s Spirit can touch our hearts and help us align our priorities in a way that pleases Him. Worship Him and keep Him first.  Adore your spouse, cherish your children, bring joy to your family.  Fling busy-ness away from you as if it were a poisoned apple.  Make useless satan’s tool of regret.

Psalm 90:12

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Luke 9:23 (NIV)

“Then He said to them all, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

 

EARTH AND SKY; OCEAN AND SHORE

Catawba Mountains

Catawba Mountains

I’ve seen clouds hanging low in the mountains, caught by trees on the slopes, resting in the valleys.  You touch what eyes see when you walk through them; cool, white mist, carrying the scent of pine.  Earth mixed with sky.

Sometimes, though, low clouds are dark, oppressive, thick with storm.  Sadness can be like that.

Living through the deaths of four people within my circle in nine months took a toll on me. Mixed in with other challenges and discouragements,  I felt overwhelmed.  There were times I went for a run, needing peace and coming back, instead, with a heavy heart, tears on my face, missing my mom.  In a way, that was a release, but not the one I sought.

The grief that I’d taught lessons on before was real to me in a new, deep and complex way.  The loss of my mom, mother-in-law, a friend and the tragic death of a young woman who used to  come to my Bible classes, felt like a dense, dark  cloud, pressing against me.

 Shrouded by storm

Shrouded by storm

I grieved for myself, my children and husband, other family members and people hurt by these losses; all confusingly caught up in the context of knowing God is fully in control and that the spirits of those I loved were with Him.

I felt frustrated with  myself for feeling such sadness when I knew I should be able to embrace the joy that’s wrapped up in eternity and knowing earthly trials are temporary. Yet, the grief and loss were pervasive.

I’ve struggled with so many emotions and thoughts these last months.  I’ve prayed that God would lift the clouds and return the sunlight.  I cried out to Him in frustration with the sadness I couldn’t shake on an early morning run, two months ago.  It wasn’t the first time; but it was  His time for an answer.

He brought to my mind Ecclesiastes, chapter three.  I’ve included those verses in lessons before, and spoken about the seasons of life, but God’s words became real to me in a new and active way.

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:”  

– Ecclesiastes 3:1

As I ran through the humidity, present even before the sun was high, God opened my eyes to see that the heat of summer remains until He brings the crispness of Fall.  No amount of wishing for the cool, clean air of autumn will bring it before its time.  There is nothing anyone can do to change the seasons in the natural world around us.  In the same way, the seasons of life; “a time to weep and a  time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) are all in His hand.

Before my feet came to a stop that morning, I had puzzled the whole thing through. It became real to me that God was in control of my season of grief, and that He would use it for His purposes.  I could rest in His hand if I didn’t strain to slip through His fingers.  His choice, so far, hadn’t been to lift me out of the sadness, but instead, to walk with me through it.  His promise was not to enable  my escape, but to teach me it was a season, not a forever, and that, in Him and His wisdom, I could find peace, despite  circumstance.

Block Island rests in the Atlantic, offshore Rhode Island.  Bluffs of clay and rock rise up from the ocean, rugged stretches that invite exploration.  Most of the  beaches there aren’t made of soft, white sand that feel like powder under your feet.  They are, instead, marked with boulders, rugged slopes and piles of rock.

Mohegan Bluffs, Block Island

Mohegan Bluffs, Block Island

The rocks that  rest above the tides have jagged edges and irregular sides, but the ones that fall where the waves beat and jostle them about are rounded and smooth, elegantly beautiful, roughness worn away by storms and tides whose number only God knows.

The place where the shore meets the ocean whispers with music: rock and water, a symphony of refinement,  directed by the hand of the Creator.  It’s been said that I’m not able  to sit still for any length of time, but I could rest there all day and listen to the rocks tumbling together in the hands of the tide.

Block Island rocks worn smooth by the hands of the tide.

Block Island rocks; jagged edges worn away by countless tides and storms

Grief is achingly real. Losing people you love is painful.  Watching people grieve and knowing their burden is heart breaking. But the greatness of God is real, too.  He allows seasons of sadness to come in our lives for purposes we cannot always understand. The seasons that are the hardest to walk through are often the ones that bring about the most elegance of spirit and the hauntingly beautiful music that proclaims His beauty.  The symphony happens when we  His speak His goodness,  see His Sovereignty, acknowledge His timing, and rest in His hand, trusting Him in and through it all.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God He is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.”                                                          – Psalm 62: 5-8

THE PROMISE OF GOODNESS

Waves splashed against the steamship’s hull as it plowed through the choppy waters of New York Harbor.  People who spent most of the journey in steerage climbed the stairs and pushed toward the railing, so that they would be among the first to glimpse the shoreline.  A mother, her face strained and white, felt herself buffeted along by the crowd. She carried one little girl on her hip and held the hand of her oldest daughter.

“Hurry, Mama, hurry,” the eldest girl said. “We have to get close.”

The crowd was thick. Too many people stood between them and the railing. The girl tugged on her mama’s hand, as she tried to weave through the crowd.”I have to see the lady, Mama,” she said, a note of desperation in her voice.  She remembered the last letter her papa had written. “Look for the Lady with the torch, Liebchen,”  he wrote.  “When you see her, soon after, you will see me.”  She missed him so!  How she longed for him to scoop her up and swing her around.

In her haste, she bumped into a tall man ahead of them.  He turned and looked down at her, though not unkindly. Apparently he had heard her words, for he looked at her mother and opened his hands wide. “May I pick her up?” he asked. The woman searched his face: broad, honest; eyes sad, but kind.

“Yes,” she said.

The man bent and lifted the girl high, smiling at her as he did so.  “My own girls and wife are home,” he said to the woman.  “I come first to make a place for them.” The woman nodded with understanding.  It was what her husband had done. He had gone ahead of them, found work, a place to live, had saved money for their trip across the ocean.  He’d sent them tickets and instructions and they had braved the journey, which now, was nearing its end.

The man gently pushed his way through the crowd with the dark haired girl in his arms.  The mother’s hand now gripped the edge of his jacket, and in the wake of his broad shoulders, followed him until they reached the railing.

The mist of early morning obscured the shore and gray clouds hung low against the water, but as the ship approached, the haze cleared, revealing the Lady and her torch. Excited voices stopped, some in mid-sentence.  An intake of breath could be heard across the crowd, as if from one.  Each person was caught up by the sight and taken to the place in their heart that whispered the promise of goodness.  It was that which had brought them here, seeking.

The year was 1927.  The eldest daughter, my mother.  She journeyed to America as a six year-old, with her mother and four year-old sister.  After they were processed through the Ellis Island Immigration Station, they found her father, waiting for them.  His gray eyes searched them out before they saw him.  He scooped his beloved family into his arms and took them, by train, to Illinois.

My grandfather, a German immigrant, made a life for his family in America. He thanked God, every day, for the country which held for him, and many others, the promise of goodness. Mom lived in Illinois until a young Kentucky man, who had traveled west to find work, stole her heart at a church picnic.  He eventually brought her back to his home soil, Kentucky farmland, earth as dark as chocolate cake.

Controversial issues pulse like black, coarse veins through the heart of our country.  As believers, we should pray that decisions made by those who lead our country are in accordance with God’s Word.  We’re called  to stand and speak and live for truth in the circles God has placed us in,  but we must not forget, in spite of everything that needs to be “fixed” in our country,  to be grateful for the blessing of living on American soil.  Breathe it in, and with the next breath, seek the place in your heart that holds the promise of God’s goodness, which will take us beyond the here and now.

Rev. 21:3-4 …And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Over a year ago, I wrote a post in the chill of a Blackberry Winter (scroll down to The Man With the Shriveled Hand, May, 2014).  The blackberries were luscious that summer, and many made their way into my freezer.   I promised one day I’d share a cobbler with you.  I wish we could sit across the table with a cup of coffee and a dish of cobbler.  The next best thing is to give you a treasured recipe, from a beloved family member in Kentucky.  Her arms are always  open with hospitality when you come to call and her blue eyes sparkle with joyful warmth. There is usually a tasty homemade treat to be shared: cream puffs, snickerdoodles, hummingbird cake or blackberry cobbler. Here’s the recipe.  Enjoy the goodness!

KENTUCKY COBBLER

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  • 1 cup self-rising flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup melted butter
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 4 cups fresh blackberries, rinsed and gently patted dry (frozen ones can be used)

Combine flour and sugar.  Make a well in the center.  Add milk, melted butter and vanilla.  Stir just until smooth. The batter will be very thin.  Spoon fruit into 8 x 11.5 inch casserole dish* sprayed with cooking spray.  Pour batter evenly over fruit.  Bake at 350 F for about an hour. Serve warm with a scoop of vanilla or lemon ice cream. *Other sizes of baking dishes may be used; but you may need to adjust baking time. When done, crust should be golden and fruit juices bubbly.

PIERCED

Worn. Pierced. Able only in Him.

When the nail pierces, Jesus is there…

If you leave your phone at home, and, upon return, notice that there were 19 missed calls, you know something has happened.  Such was the case for me on March 24th. I went to the grocery with my kids and left my phone on the kitchen counter.  I’ve certainly done that before, but not often.

Dread filled me as soon as I picked it up and saw the volume of missed calls. They were all from my sister and cousin in Kentucky.  Immediately, I knew something was wrong with my mom.  My cousin was the first to answer her phone.

“Your mom’s been in a car accident,” she said.  “It’s bad.”  “They’re air lifting her to the hospital.  We’re on our way now.”

“Oh, no!”  I felt the sudden punch of a nail piercing my heart.  “No! No!”  I hung up, and stood there, in disbelief, not knowing what to do.  Tears, sudden. Breathing I couldn’t control.  “Girls, quickly, come here, we have to pray for Grandma.”

Then, call my sister, again. Voice mail.  My husband.  Voice mail.  My friend.  I got her.  “Please pray,” I asked her.  Suitcase, things thrown in.  What airline to call? More prayers.  More tears. The phone, silent.  Another call to my husband.  This time, contact…at a fire scene, praying from there, making arrangements to get away….I had to call Kentucky again.  My cousin and his wife had gotten to the hospital first, on their way in.  No news yet.  “We’ll call you,” she said.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I decided I couldn’t wait for a call.  My cousin’s wife answered the phone. “I’m so sorry,” she said.  “She  didn’t make it.” “She died in the helicopter on the way here.”

My mama, gone.

“No!” A cry came, somewhere from the nightmare that this had to be.  Not happening.  But, it was. Piercingly, suddenly real. Images flashed in my head that were far too vivid.  Did she suffer? Had she been afraid? How long before help came? In that storm, God’s words coming into my mind, washing over me like waves.

“…He who hears my word and believes Him who sent me will not die but have everlasting life……God so loved the world He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him has eternal life…this day you will be with me in Paradise…I will never leave you or forsake you…all things work to the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose…..”

I kept repeating verses in my head as the tears came.  Words memorized in times of quietness, brought to my heart by the Holy Spirit when peace lay shattered like broken glass and twisted metal at my feet.

I knew Jesus had been with her every second, every breath, and after her last one, He had taken her hand in eternity.  Her life, from beginning to end, had been ordained by Him.  Untimely death is a phrase coined by man, not God.

Now, almost two months have passed.  You can see why this blog has lain, silent.  So much to process.  So many people to talk to.  So much to do.  Miles to travel.

If you’ve kept up with past posts, you know my husband’s mom died of brain cancer in October of last year.  One storm, after another.

Life is hard, death is harder, but God is good.  He is in control, and He is loving.  He is the only anchor to hold onto when the wind and waves that rage threaten to pull you out to sea and drown you in the undertow of a fallen world.

After a bit of time and space, I could see God’s hand in my mom’s last breath. She had recently been diagnosed with a substantial, malignant melanoma.  She would have been 94 in May, but was otherwise vibrantly healthy and active.  I was scheduled to leave for Kentucky the very next week, to care for her after the malignancy was removed on April 1st.  She died  7 days before that surgery.  Clearly, God did not intend for her to go through it.

It took weeks for me to get past the regret of not getting to go and care for her, as I did my husband’s mom.  Finally, I have accepted that caring for her was my plan, not God’s.  The regret has slipped away.  She knew I was willing to take care of her. That’s what matters. Our last conversation, the day before she died, ended with, “I love you, Mama.”  “I love you, too, ” she said.  She knew the love in my heart lined up with the willingness of my hands to care for her.

I felt certain,  from the size of the melanoma, that it had spread.  The doctors agreed that was likely.  Yet, Mom wanted no tests or treatment to follow up after the surgery. She trusted God with her life. He had blessed her with longevity and health, and then spared her from enduring the recovery of a surgery that would likely have debilitated her and stolen her independence.  He spared her from the suffering, frustration and decline the cancer would have brought her as it spread.  Having seen that very thing, first hand, in my mother-in-law; I had already prayed God would not let my mama suffer in the same way.

I was told the accident happened so quickly, it was likely she didn’t know what happened.  Her eyes closed in this world and opened in Paradise.

Thank you, Father, for the gift of my mama, and the gift of eternal life, which she is enjoying now.  Your words are more than print on paper.  They are hope and strength and peace, because they come from the Giver of Life, who is able to breathe them in to the hearts of those who want and need to listen.

When the nails pierce in your life, trust Jesus and lean on Him.  Remember His love for you.  Know that He felt the nails in your place, long before you were born.

 

 

 

LIGHT IN A STORM

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is a wellspring of life. - Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. – Proverbs 4:23

Winter storm warnings create long lines in the grocery store and result in shelves bare of bread and milk.  At least, that is, in the south.  I have to admit I’m one of those who flock to the store when snow is promised.

While standing in line with all the essentials in my cart, on the heels of 6-8″ snow forecast, I noticed the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition on display in the rack next to the register.  My girls, ages 8 and 11 were with me.

“Why don’t you guys go look at the Easter candy display, while I wait?” I asked, eager to divert their attention from the magazine rack. (I’m strict on sweets, but for my girls, I’d pick a double load of sugar over what Sports Illustrated was dishing up that day.)

The Swimsuit edition has approached the pornographic line before, but this year the cover picture really crossed it.  Or, maybe, I’m just more aware and sensitive to what’s out there because my girls are growing up and I’m trying to teach them modesty and purity. What would NOT have been allowed years ago is tolerated in this age, because too few people have taken a stand AGAINST IT!  As a society we’ve become desensitized to nudity, provocative images, violence and a whole lot more.

I know I (we) can’t shelter our kids from the world forever, but to see so much skin displayed in a family type place of business was not acceptable to me.

After feeling unsettled all evening, I called the store manager the next morning.  My girls were already out playing in the snow.  I didn’t expect to get through to him; but, as you will see, the Lord clearly had gone ahead of me.

I explained how I felt about the Swimsuit issue and the concern I had about the message it communicated to my daughters and potentially others.  The manager was AMAZINGLY responsive.  He apologized and said that the magazine was actually not supposed to be on display by the register.  He even went one step further and said he would collect all the ones in the store and RETURN them.   WOW!

Praise the Lord!  This makes me wonder how many other times God’s light could facilitate change if we just STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, instead of accepting  things the world storms us with?

So, please be encouraged.  Take a stand for God.  Don’t tolerate things that insidiously wage war against Him, ESPECIALLY those things which have a negative impact on the hearts and minds of our daughters and sons.  Pray that God will trouble the waters of your soul enough to cause you to take a stand.

 

 

SPARKLING BLUE

Blue-sky peace

Blue-sky peace

Some things speak peace and beauty into your soul without words.  Winter-blue sky, for example. Sky that is the purest, most beautiful shade of blue is something to get lost in.  The wild morning glories of spring along the roadways sometimes capture the azure quality of the sky. It’s the kind of blue you want to breathe in: the color of peacefulness, never the blue-gray of sadness.

Sunlight consists of all the colors in the light spectrum: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet, woven continuously together.  Unlike paint, when all the colors of light blend, they appear to form white light.  When this blended light shines through raindrops, a prism effect results, and the individual colors split and become gloriously evident.  The very first rainbow resulted from the genius of God’s creation and spoke of His promise to never again flood the entire earth with water.

Molecules in the air intersect the sunlight before it reaches our eyes.  The molecules scatter the high frequency blue light more than they scatter the other colors which have lower frequencies. (This is called Rayleigh scattering, after John William Strutt, 3rd Baron Rayleigh, English physicist 1842-1919 who studied this phenomenon.  Albert Einstein subsequently refined the idea). This scattering of blue light is what produces the blue sky color our eyes were designed specifically to see.

Great minds have contemplated the mysteries of light and air and understand many of the laws that make things so; but there is One who breathed out creation and all the parameters that govern it, long before the mind of man tried to understand it.

God is the Author of Creation and the Author of Salvation.  He hates sin but desires peace.  Sin angers Him, but mercy defined His action when He caused His Son to die for us.

The daylight sky darkened when Jesus gave His life, but  peace burst forth when the temple curtain was torn in two, top down, symbolizing that the sin debt which separated God from man was paid in full.

Jesus Christ is the way to blue-sky peace with God.  The only way.

If you have found the Way, and see the Light, how will you scatter blue-sky peace to others, so that they, too, may see?

Drink it in.  Breathe it in.  Then, scatter it through the words of your mouth, the works of your hands and the integrity of your character.

Explore: John 1:1-5, John 8:12, Luke 23:44-46, John 19:28-30 (the word “finished” in that verse – NIV translation – means paid-in-full.)

 

WALKING IN THE AFTERGLOW

 

Left behind...

Left behind…

There is usually one decoration that escapes notice during the process of taking down and putting away, at least in my house.  Its presence is noted only after all the boxes have been safely stowed in the attic.  Last year it was a purple, handmade, sequined ornament with a gold bow, made by a woman whose family walked through trauma in God’s strength.  It hangs in a special place, during Christmas, symbolic of answered prayers.

This time, a sprig of fake mistletoe escaped the take down.  Every year, it swings from the door frame between the kitchen and the living room; reminding me of a sweet Christmas, years ago, when it hung  from the doorway of a backpacking tent, placed there by the man who would one day ask me to marry him.

The afterglow of courtship still clings in my memory to that slightly tattered bunch of silk leaves and plastic berries.  I love the memories, but appreciate more, the years since, when married life brought shared joys, sorrows, laughter, commitment and comfort.  The afterglow endured and took on a life of its own.

There are so many moments in all of our lives that leave luminous fragments as they pass: courtship and wedding days, the births of precious children, special family times and holidays celebrated. It’s lovely and warm to bask in the afterglow, but what you do afterward makes up the substance of life.

Since September 6, we’ve been walking through Matthew 16:24:

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

If you’re new to this blog, scroll down to the 9/6 post to catch up. We’ll wrap up this scripture journey by looking first at Luke 1:26-33:

In the sixth month, God sent the angel, Gabriel, to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David.  The virgin’s name was Mary.  The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”  

Mary was greatly troubled at his words, and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.  But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.  You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus.”

“He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.  The Lord God will give Him the throne of his father David and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever; His kingdom will never end.”

When the words of the angel Gabriel echoed as only an afterglow in Mary’s mind, how difficult was it to walk the path God planned for her?  We see her love for God and the humble sweetness of her spirit as she said,”I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38)

However, it is easy to imagine that the days following Mary’s encounter with the angel were tumultuous. Telling Joseph that she was with child, clearly not his, and explaining her situation to her family must have been difficult, to say the least.  Were the family dynamics following her revelation tear-infused as her loved ones tried to embrace the  news and deal with the consequences of a potentially broken engagement, legal ramifications of a divorce and community gossip? We can only speculate about the details, and recognize that God, in His infinite wisdom, knew character development, reliance on Him  and strength of faith would come from any hardship Mary and Joseph endured.

Mary followed the path God set for her, but it didn’t end in Bethlehem.  The steps of her life took her all the way to the cross, where she watched her son be crucified.  Did she stand there as the darkness gathered, wishing that it was she who suffered, instead of her precious boy, knowing in her soul that it could not be?  All the details, the uttered prophecies and amazing circumstance surrounding her son’s life, treasured in her heart, must have resonated in her mind, mixed with sharp, stabbing anguish.  One can only hope that there was Godly insight there as well, knowledge that the horror she witnessed was meant to be and that glory would come, not as an afterglow, but as a brilliant light, exploding salvation into the world.

Mary gave substance to her life by following God’s will, and offered us a beautiful example of what that looks like.  She trusted God and humbly accepted His plan for her life, whatever that entailed.

Although she  experienced the heart ache of a soul pierced with grief (Luke 2:25-35), she  knew soul-seated joy (Luke 1:46-55) and had the privilege of delivering the favor of God’s grace to the world through the instrument of her body: giving birth to the Son of God, Redeemer of the lost.

Once the ornaments are all packed away, how should we walk in the afterglow of Christmas?  Do only the memories linger, or does the afterglow take on a life and light of its own; a glowing commitment to share Jesus, the gift of God’s grace, all year, through the instrument of our bodies: our words, our actions, and our lives?

The journey of a Christ follower is not promised to be trouble-free, and speaking  the message of salvation is often not easy. But, if you are a child of God, you, like Mary, are favored. You have been given His saving grace! It is your privilege to deliver the news of God’s gift, and His Spirit will strengthen you to walk the path He wants you to follow.

To summarize all that we have considered since September 6,  following Jesus means to have an intentional and dedicated focus to living the will of God and developing His character in the process.  The trials and sacrifices incurred  are tools God uses to shape us into an image of His Son.  The presence of the Lord with us and the promise of eternity with Him gives a soul-seated joy that circumstances can’t take away.

Matthew 16:24 (your mission as a Believer)  also circles back to God’s mission: John 3:16, which really is the message of Christmas:

“For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

Following Him and delivering that message can take you many different directions.  Perhaps it takes you to a mission field, faraway.  Maybe the path is one you walk within your family, striving to follow God’s ways, not the world’s; guiding your children and family members to Christ.   Maybe the trail takes you across the rocky fields of a workplace where God’s presence isn’t wanted, a classroom where prayer is not allowed,  or to the many arenas where the world’s presence is dominate and darkness abounds.  We are called to shine our light, the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit, so others believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life; (John 14:6)  and will then praise God for the illumination of their minds and salvation of their souls.

We can all learn from Mary, who picked up her cross, and followed the Lord, long before the Son she bore spoke the words in Matthew 16:24 to His disciples.

In the afterglow of Christmas, remember that you are God’s masterpiece, (Ephesians 2:10) a uniquely crafted instrument, meant to sound out the beauty of God’s grace: Salvation through Jesus Christ.

If you have not yet internalized belief in Jesus, Redeemer of your soul, know that He is calling you and longing for a relationship with you.  Admit you have sinned.  Believe that God’s Son died for you.  Confess your sins to Him.  With open hands, accept the best Christmas gift ever, that can come on any day: eternal life and the presence of the Holy Spirit in you, guaranteeing you Forever Life.

Prayer: Holy Father:  Help me walk in the afterglow of Christmas.  Make the spirit of Christmas blaze with a light of its own, so that I can shine the light of your Son into the darkness, and follow you wherever your will takes me.  Develop in me your character as I share your grace and follow you, amen.

My hope and prayer for all of you:  May the Lord bless you with the light of His Son, igniting in you a passion to follow Him.  When you pack the  visual reminders of Christmas away,  keep the meaning of Christmas in your life, so that the afterglow endures and takes on a life of its own. Love more, serve more, speak more for Him!

Happy New Year!

RUST OR RUBIES

More than meets the eye...

More than meets the eye…

The oak across from my driveway has leaves the color of a once red, weather-worn 57′ Chevy parked behind an old farmhouse.  I studied it as I walked down the driveway from a morning run, knowing there was more to this oak tree than met the eye. The day before, I had stood beneath its branches, amazed by what I saw.

The sun was up past the trees on the other side of the soybean field and the sky was bright blue.  One more step took me beneath the branches and I turned my face up to the canopy of leaves.  Sunlight streamed through the rust colored leaves, turning them into rubies blazing forth with scarlet light.  Just as it had been yesterday, the view gazing up from below was dramatically different than the one from the side.

I walked back and forth several times to see the change.  Each time I came in beneath the branches and looked up, the glorious red leaves filled me with wonder.  The difference between dreary and magnificent was just a matter of perspective.   A few steps in and an upturned face positioned me to see glorious color and beauty that could easily have been missed.  I could feel a lesson in the making.

From rust to rubies...

From rust to rubies…

The challenges  and tribulations of this life often cover over our souls like rust on old metal.  We feel dingy, worn and fragile.  It’s not just the big blows that hurt and wear us thin but also the day to day trials and struggles that beat incessantly on our energies and attitudes.

It’s then we need to bend low, humble ourselves and creep in under the overhanging shelter of our God, and look up to see His face.  How do you really do that?  Tell Him you know you can’t fix what’s wrong, and that you can’t cope by yourself. Ask Him to forgive you for wondering WHY, instead of looking to see WHAT He wants you to learn.  Stay close to Him in prayer, seeking to follow Him through it all and expecting to see His glory come about.  Your world might be raging, but He holds the Universe in His Hand. His plans for the world and for you will not fail.  He keeps His promises.  He wants you to focus on the rubies, not the rust.

Following Him means you need to stay close, so you don’t get off track. Camp beneath the overhanging branches of God’s shelter by studying Jesus and how He lived His life.  He set the pattern we are to follow.  Read Matthew, Mark, Luke or John and pray to understand the character of Jesus so that you have in your sights how to be.  Know you can be like Him because if you are a child of God, Jesus lives in you, and you operate in the power of the Holy Spirit.  In Him, stomp down all the parts of you that get in the way, to make room for the parts of Him that want to fill you up.

Bend low, get close and look up.  Worship Him, because who He is never changes. He is the Artist who created you; He is Lover of your soul who died so you could live; He is Always, Forever and Almighty. He is Craftsman and Conductor of your life. The rubies of His glory exist even in the rust of life.  Get in position and ask Him to help you see your circumstances with a  different perspective.

The world can rage.  The rust invades, but He is God.  Nothing happens outside His plan. He will not desert you, but if you move away from Him the rust can overtake you, and the rubies fade out of view.

Follow the character tracks of Jesus to the shelter of the Father.  Jesus left clear prints that lead the way.  Follow and pray for wisdom to view life from His perspective.  Bend low, get close, look up.  Then, encourage someone else to do the same.

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”