Waiting.

People wait with agitation or patience.

I have done both.

Agitation takes on various levels of intensity and emotion, depending on what we wait for.

We wait for many things, ranging from the small (our turn in line) to the large (medical test results).

I’ve waited for an MRI…scheduled for June, but delayed until August because of COVID.  Test completed; then another wait for results.  Results, that hopefully would have given me an “all clear” from the cancer journey I’ve been on.

The waiting ended with results that were less than I had hoped for.  Suspicious activity in a lymph node under my breast bone was highlighted.

Upon hearing the news, I felt myself sliding down the slope of disappointment into the abyss of fear. Since I got the news on a Friday, I had a weekend to wait until I could start making calls and getting information.

I was scared, disappointed, even angry at how COVID had delayed my test.  It felt as if I had just finished a marathon and was now being pushed back to the starting line to run it again.

My husband and I prayed through it.  I read passages of the Word that reminded me of who God is.  I immediately asked for prayer from my closest circle of friends and prayer warriors.  When I found myself dwelling on the “what ifs” in the middle of the night, I tried to replace those thoughts with  memory verses.  I poured out my fears  to Jesus.  I tried to focus on what God had walked me through already instead of what I might have to walk through in days to come. I praised Him for all the ways He had blessed me.  I praised Him because He is good, He is in control and His timing is perfect.

I’d like to say  by Sunday night the waiting had taken on a completely different face and  I was calm and peaceful as a dove; but that wouldn’t be real.  I was, however, feeling that the Holy Spirit had stabilized my way of thinking and brought me to a better place.

It was a place that lasted for a span of time, before the worries crept in again.  I’ve gone through the process of worry/fear and crying out to the Lord multiple times.  He is always there, always ready to stretch out a hand to me, always ready to calm me until the next time the waves are higher than my head and I look at them instead of Him.  One has to wonder when do our eyes learn to lock on to the Lord with spiritual acuity that can not be buffeted away by the winds of trouble?  I believe it is a life long process!

God has walked us through a week of appointments, insurance and scheduling glitches and fears that keep rising up.  He has guided and directed and smoothed out frustrating situations.  I know it is He who has worked through it.

Now, at the end of another week, we wait again.  A PET scan tomorrow should reveal more information about the suspicious lymph node. There will be a wait for results after that, likely through the weekend.

Are you waiting for something? Something, perhaps,  that can easily generate fear. In our fallen world there are many such things.  Don’t waste time beating yourself up if you think your fear shows lack of faith.  That’s a tool of the devil.  Instead, let the Spirit use the tool of fear to push you closer to the Lord.  Give Him your fears, once, twice, a thousand times, if need be.  Each heart-cry of fear should rush us to our Father, “Abba” (“Daddy” in Hebrew) so that He can  scoop us up as a daddy would his crying child.

Then, in the Father’s arms, there is just to wait.  Isaiah 40:28-31 (NASB) reads:

“Do you not kow? Have you not heard?  The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not become weary or tired.  His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.  Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”

Those who WAIT on the Lord…..

The word wait in that context carries with it the sense of expecting.  Isaiah used those words to refer to the Jews who were captive in a foreign land and had no hope of rescue, except from the Lord.  The words speak to us, too, when we are captives of fear, sickness, disease, grief, anxiety. Some translations use the words hope or trust instead of wait.  Waiting without hope or trust in the Everlasting God is a chain that can quickly strangle.

Hope and trust  add an element of perspective, because of whom we hope in and whom we trust in.  He  is The Star Breather, Redeemer, Healer, Savior, Master, Lion of Judah, Eternal King.  He is the One who spoke the Universe into existence and knows the detail of our lives. He is the God who gave us His Son, who endured  the fear of the cross and waited on the resurrecting power of the Spirit.

All of that, for YOU.  You, who wait. You, who fear.  You, who cry in the middle of the night because life can hurt.  You, who grieve. Jesus died for YOU.  Died, to overcome death, so that the tribulations of this world would not have the last word.  Salvation is one thing you shouldn’t wait for.  It’s available NOW by confessing your sin and accepting the gift of life from Jesus Christ.

John 3:16 (NIV)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

1 John 1:9 (NIV)

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteowsness.”

Romans 10:9 (NIV)

If you declare with  your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

God is waiting for you.  What are you waiting for?

 

Olivia waited patiently for Bumpkin to go broody. As spring neared its close, Zulilly  was the one who did.  Olivia revealed that she had actually made the coop FOR Bumpkin. Since that was the case, should we deny Zulilly and wait even longer on Bumpkin? Soon, the weather would be too hot for any hen to endure brooding.

We discussed the dilemma and decide to give Zulilly a chance.  We set her on three eggs, just in case Bumpkin went broody soon after. (6 new baby chicks was our previously established “max”).

With three carefully selected eggs, Zulilly was nestled into a nest box of soft hay and Oliva took on the task of pampering her for the next 21 days.

Bumpkin did not go  broody.  Zulilly, having achieved her desire,  became calm and devoted to her eggs.  Trust developed as Olivia cared for her by bringning  fresh water and special treats to the nest, multiple times a day. Zulilly’s peckiness stopped and a new realtionship between the two was forged.

Then, the waiting took on a new quality – the eager anticipation of life to come.